We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
