i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
