she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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