it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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