just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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