The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
love makes seman taste better
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
