the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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