I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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