i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
