Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Randomize
