Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
