peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you told grandpa to call you daddy
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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