The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
