Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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