All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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