so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
