it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
