i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
