Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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