just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
