also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
