at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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