i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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