we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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