In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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