Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
