Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize