Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
