Its about making memories worth repressing
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
