I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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