I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
