Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
