everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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