He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
