He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You can't special order awesome
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
