Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize