I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
