I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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