I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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