R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
