Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize