Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
