You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
