Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i drank out of a bidet.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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