I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
