I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
