is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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