no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize