I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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