i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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