hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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