wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
how does that bad decision feel?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
