You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
