is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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