i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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