Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
