walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
