i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
