who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
