The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
vagina is talking i cant
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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