maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
