Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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