where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize