his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
