Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
