We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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