over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
